30.4.04

 
I'm Back after a long hiatus.

It seems that a lot of people in life spend time worrying about things not worth worrying about. Tests, school grades, what someone else thinks of you. These things are all obsolete in the grand scheme of things. They really are. There are few things in life worth worrying about. And those things worth worrying about... well you never worry about them. You never worry about people dying, the likeliness of someone contracting a disease, people tend to shut out these negative thoughts. People tend to think of themselves as great and powerful. Like the world would stop if they didn't attend that meeting or go this work done. Well, people and their mall problems aren't really all that great. Just stand yourself next to a giant mountain and realize how small and meaningless you are. Go out to a place where there's nothing but you and nature and you find that all those things you were worrying about aren't all that big and you yourself are not that important.

So don't sweat the small stuff [and it's all small stuff]
Kat posted this on 30.4.04

16.3.04

 
It seems for once I figured out what was going on in my life.

I know no matter what I hear from my friends I'll still be hooked on Jay. He was the first guy I didn't dive head over heals for. It was a slowly growing fondness of him. And he did things that I thought were so dumb, but I accepted it and got over it. I didn't really like him because he was amazing looking. I liked him because of how he made me feel. He was the only guy that I didn't have the guts to flirt with at least not the way I normally do. Crazy eh?

I realize now though that I can dwell on him, though, because he's not dwelling on me. Which means it wasn't right. And maybe sometime in the future I look back and realize that this was all so foolish.

Life is so much more than people make it out to be. I feel like I'm living more than anyone else my age because I see things in a different light. An older one. I feel that although I've only been around physically for 17 years my mind is much older. I don't look at things like I'm a adolescent, I have the same thoughts as my grandma sometimes. No thoughts, but understandings. I think that's how to describe it. The point being I'm older than I really am.

I've learned how to ask for help and how to ignore advice the way people ignore mine. It's not voluntary it's just you refuse to give up the dreams that are keeping you alive for a reality that will kill you.
Kat posted this on 16.3.04

2.3.04

 
Did you ever feel as though not matter how hard you try you always end up in the same situation in the end? I feel that way a lot. Kind of like running on ice? It's like no matter how hard you try no one listens, nothing changes and in the end no one, not even you, really cares. I feel like I have so many good ideas so many unsaid speeches, so many unheard thoughts. And yet when I do say something it's like it's never heard. The advice, knowledge I try to give to people when they ask for it seems to go in one ear and out the other. People don't listen to me because they seem to think since I'm physically look young my brain is young too. It's not at all like that, I'm far beyond my years. I hate being denied my voice.

Kat posted this on 2.3.04

13.2.04

 
In The Middle Of The Night...
I have so many thoughts flowing through my head right now i'm going to try to spew them out in some sort of organized manner.

1. Death Seems there's been quite a lot of death as of these past few months. After reading the book The Five People You Meet In Heaven my outlook on it has changed. There is no way to describe the book and all it teaches. The only way to understand it is to experience it so I suggest it as a vacation read. It'll be done in one day I promise it's that good. It was written by Mitch Albom the same man that wrote his other experiences in Tuesdays With Morrie. [Another Great Book]

2. Life People, I feel, don't know how to enjoy everything in life. It's become to materialistic. For me, my life will be the best it possibly can be so long as my body is dirty from work and my soul cleansed by it. If you can't sweat, bleed and be dirty then you can't fully experience life, at least I can't.

3. Love How do you know if you love someone? It's really hard to say, and if you think that you love them do you forgive them when they hurt you a little or do you take it to heart and see it as a bad sign? It's so confusing.

4. Miracles I do believe in them and have experienced quite a few. When one hasn't happened in while or so it seems, if I lose faith in the miracle will it not happen because I doubt or will it happen because I do?

I know that there's more I don't feel like posting. It's too personal
Kat posted this on 13.2.04

12.2.04

 
I'll post later but right now I have to study for a test.
Kat posted this on 12.2.04

11.2.04

 
"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters. "

I finally got to see the end to a great movie that took me about 3 times to see it in it's entirety. It wasn't that it wasn't interesting it was that I was always forced to leave. It was "A River Runs Through It" and it was quite amazing. I feel bad for not posting on my blog so much anymore. Time's are difficult, sorta.

I miss Jay alot. His sister's still goes to school here so he'll be back for Graduation but that's still some time away. I want to be friends with her she seems so nice. I wonder if he'll come back and visit some times? I think today or yesterday was his birthday. Oh well.
Kat posted this on 11.2.04

25.1.04

 

I am an Intellectual



Which America Hating Minority Are You?

Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons



This was a rather comical and fitting way to start my post.

Long, Long Time Ago

There was a time once, not too long ago some still remember, where a different world once was. Most people lived with other people of similar tastes and ideas and everyone one was happy. They had jobs, money, food, family, tradition, culture, friends and family. Everything anyone could ever ask for. True Happiness. Then one day a stronger and much different group of people, one from a far away place came and expanded their territories, taking over the small communtities that were around and forced them to give up all they were and all they would become for a "better life". The people were told they had been "oppressed, denied their rights, and were living the wrong way" before and things would be better. Their traditions and culture were thrown away as easily as a child throws their worries to the wind. They lost everything.



We often look to the past to determine our future or so they say. It's not necessarily your past it could be anyones but ultimately we are doomed to repeat what has happened before us as are those who follow us to repeat our lives.



If you think I'm talking about the Sovet Union taking over the smaller European countries then your wrong. It's the United States. They force their lifestyles upon everyone else they can find, critize those who are different and think they know best. They have since the before their creation when the tried to educate the "savage" natives. They play "big brother" to many other countries. But really how much help do those countries want or need? So next time you try to help someone to "better themselves" think about it from their point of view first and make sure it's wanted.
Kat posted this on 25.1.04